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My First Blog Post

24 Aug

Well, this is awkward: I don’t like first blog posts. In fact, I hate them. I mean, when other people do them it’s fine: my discomfort refers only to my own first blog posts. I don’t really know what I want this blog to be, yet, apart from more temporally successful than my previous blogs and also less whiny. (Good start, Lizzo.) It just feels so hard to get into these things without worrying that you’re setting some kind of precedent – and then admonishing yourself for imagining you have a particular type of audience, or any at all beyond futureliz. (Hi, futureliz.)

Fuck it. I’m going to write a blog post about hot men.

There aren’t many men that I find hot; I like to call them my ‘exceptions.’ I suppose it’s kind of like that Friends episode where they’re all discussing the famous people they’d be allowed to sleep with if they got the opportunity whilst in an otherwise monogamous relationship – except it really isn’t because it’s hardly as though the people I’m involved with have a rule against me fucking men. I just generally don’t find (cisgendered) men at all appealing. Except. For these guys. I think part of the appeal is that I am clearly never going to meet these people and also they are mainly characters in TV programmes so there is a suitable distance between me and having to interact with a cisman’s actual penis (although, that said, I suppose that wouldn’t be a necessity). I think another part of the appeal is HELLO look at them.

Eric fucking Northman

OH HAI. I’ve been watching some episodes of True Blood season four with my brother Will recently and it has just brought all the Ericlust back, although I do still prefer him with longer hair. I think a lot of what made it easy for me to be attracted to Eric (because I generally find it difficult to find my way into a mental space in which I can find men attractive) was all the homoeroticism which I’m SURE wasn’t just shipping but was a bit of a real actual thing in the True Bloodiverse. I mean. Just look at him.

Spike

Clearly there is a bit of a theme here. HELLO SPIKE. I started watching Buffy when it was first shown on BBC2, so when Spike hit the screens I would’ve been about twelve and identifying as bisexual. These days I can see that a lot of the physical attributes Spike and Eric have are attributes that I find incredibly attractive in women – tallness, good cheekbones, muscly, bit moody-looking (or “interesting”). I especially like Spike in New York in 1977, as pictured here – he basically looks like my ideal boy when I was in my teens, whom I obviously never met because he only really existed in fiction and also had I met him irl I would have hated him for being problematic on, like, a million levels. Oh, also, the homoerotic potential of Spike and Angel totally didn’t pass me by.

Jeremy’s Iron

Oh, Jeremy. Jeremy with the SILKEN VOICE and EXCELLENT FACE. The other day, Ryan and I were watching the latter bit of The French Lieutenant’s Woman and it was just the best thing ever, especially with Meryl Streep. We just didn’t know where to look. Also, it was really confusing and we probably should watch it from start to finish some time. ANYWAY. I am in a constant state of dismay that I haven’t seen Brideshead Revisited, since my favourite men are men that get with other men; I mean, I do want to read it before I see it, and I haven’t read it yet, so there is a very simple way to solve this problem (except I’m reading Orlando and Sex and the Slayer at the moment, so). Jeremy just has such a delicately beautiful face and the lip curve is just omg. Also I’ve more often than not seen him playing villains, which is obviously something I like in a fantasy man.

After all that, I actually can’t think of any other men I find really attractive; I think I might have manswooned myself out. At least my first post is done 🙂

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